The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn’t have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife’s insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar coin that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man’s wife to the local Costco Warehouse. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol’ Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop’s security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the premises.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested. The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared……(You’re going to hate me for this…)

‘ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ Costco

Oh, quit groaning! I don’t write this stuff, I receive it from my warped friends and then send it on to you!!

Thanks Pat!

Follow link to see full size:

http://autos.sympatico.ca/strange-automotive-news/13670/craigslist-ad-for-700-pontiac-goes-viral

Thanks Richard!

The dog said, "That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?"

And God said that it was good.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people,
do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year
life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long
time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God, again said that it was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the
front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I’m doing it as a public service. If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.

Thanks Dale!

http://www.realistichdrbook.com/hdr-before-and-after/

Follow the link, and you can see some before/after images…this is what HDR can do for you!

http://howto.cnet.com/8301-11310_39-57423901-285/diy-the-string-tripod-aka-stringpod/?tag=epicStories

Thanks Richard!

Thanks Thom!

Thanks Mehdi!

Thanks Robb!

http://reviews.cnet.com/8301-31747_7-57420950-243/kickstarter-project-aims-to-turn-ipad-into-macbook-air/?tag=nl.e404

Thanks Richard!

Thanks Richard!

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/florida-man-mistakes-girlfriend-hog-shoots-her-211904311.html

Thanks Richard!

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-57421291-71/your-lover-left-you-dont-worry-google-chrome-can-get-her-back/?tag=cnetRiver

Thanks Richard!

Read more:

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105-57421367-1/nasa-battles-solar-storm-with-rubber-chicken/?tag=cnetRiver

Thanks Richard!

www.failblog.org

http://www.futureoftech.msnbc.msn.com/technology/futureoftech/what-flip-flying-object-turns-inside-out-move-732810

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-57420485-71/girl-engrossed-in-cell-phone-falls-into-sinkhole/?tag=fd2010TopHeadlines.0

Thanks Richard!

http://www.jest.com/article/167433/collection-10-overreactions-to-onion-articles-from-literally-unbelievable

Best Job | P&G London 2012 Olympic Games Film

Thanks Pat!

When chemists die, do they ‘barium’?

Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. But he says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity matter. I just can’t put it down!

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren’t funny; period!

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz at the end.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro -­ what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy…

Venison for dinner, again? Oh deer….

The earthquake in Washington was obviously the government’s fault.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

Thanks Robb!

Thanks Tom Mabe!

Thanks Pat!