Steve’s Net Curiosities – Updated Daily (almost)

Thanks Pat!

If  you didn’t see this on the Tonight show, I hope you’re sitting down when you  read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!!  We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.
Jay Leno went into  the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had.  The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was  absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it  was midwinter…Snowing and quite cold… and the guy had taken her skiing in  the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah.
It was a  day trip (no  overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The  outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that  a fternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she  gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. ! !  They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle  of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a  while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a  point here she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the  road, or it would be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she  quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the  deep snow she didn’t have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the  rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car  watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from  peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather  embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon  becam e aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the  young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car’s fender.  Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted  to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she  had a brand new problem, due to the  extreme cold.
Horrified  by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her  date’s concerns about’ what is taking so long’ with a reply that indeed, she  was ‘freezing her butt off’ and in need of some assistance!  He came  around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she  looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the  giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves,  they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they  also were faced with a real problem.
Both agreed it would take  something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!  Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place,  both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she  looked the other way, her first time date pr oceeded to unzip his pants and  pee her butt off the fender.
As  the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down.  Or perhaps that should be ‘pants  down’. And you thought your first date  was embarrassing. Jay Leno’s comment… ‘This   gives a whole new meaning to being pissed  off.’
Oh and how did  the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on  the Leno show.

Thanks Pat!